


Teach Me

by EscapingReality51



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Parent Teacher AU, mentions of past childhood trauma, parent!Aaron, teacher!Robert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 18:55:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11538390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EscapingReality51/pseuds/EscapingReality51
Summary: Aaron Dingle is trying to deal with his own issues and an unruly teenager, who is slacking off at school. He does his best to help his sister, but it becomes harder when her teacher gets under Aaron's skin.





	Teach Me

**Author's Note:**

> I suck at summaries. 
> 
> For Malorie who wanted more parent/teacher AUs.

Liv is hurting and Aaron doesn’t know what to do about it. 

It isn’t surprising; a year on and the memories are still fresh, the pain still just below the surface ready to bubble up and rip your reality apart. Losing a parent, and especially one like Aaron’s father, had hurt him in ways he hadn’t thought imaginable; most particularly, it had made him feel like he could breathe again.

It hurts Liv differently than it does him, it hurts in a way he doesn’t quite understand, can’t quite talk to her about - he was a different parent to each of them, a different role model. He doesn’t know how to tell her it is ok to grieve, it is ok to be sad. Instead he just tries to take care of her as best he can. 

Chas comes over and cooks dinner for them, sitting silent vigil and making sure Aaron doesn’t have to be alone in this. She mourns a bit like Liv does; mourns the person Gordon could have been as well as being so angry at him. Aaron mourns the childhood he should have had more than the death of his father. 

It makes for some tough conversations but Aaron thought she was ok, thought she was dealing with it until the school calls and tells him she’s skiving. She has been for a few days now.

The ride down to her school is short and not enough time to calm Aaron’s bubbling anger. Of course she is - it’s what she does when she’s upset and he’s still learning. Being a ‘parent’ to a sibling is a learning curve and Aaron finds it is steeper than he thought. He thought he was learning, improving. 

The school thought otherwise, in the beginning. There were too many conversations and hints about not being able to handle an unruly teenager, of not being the right role-model for her, of needing to do everything differently to what he was doing. Eventually he tired of it. They tired of it. Liv calmed down and felt more rooted. Until now.

He waits in front of the classroom, equal parts angry and nervous and trying to contain it all, walking slowly up and down the hallway. Each step is another second closer to a conversation he definitely doesn’t want to have, but he knows he has to. 

“Mr Dingle?” 

The man speaking is someone Aaron hasn’t seen before and he has that nervous energy about him Aaron takes as meaning he is new to the job. He’s wearing a blue jumper over a white shirt, donning a dark grey jacket and Aaron can’t quite keep his eyes from raking his body until his eyes find elbow-patches. Aaron sighs internally; this must be the new substitute Liv mentioned. No wonder Aaron hasn’t seen him before. 

Aaron follows him into the classroom, takes a chair and sets it in front of the teacher’s desk. His blonde hair sticks up at the front and his blue-green eyes are piercing, seeing more than he lets on. He folds his hands in front of him and Aaron can almost hear the tone of voice he is going to use, stern and slightly reprimanding even though Aaron isn’t a student. Sitting straighter, he prepares himself for a fight, tries to keep his already stretched patience in check. 

“You’re Liv’s legal guardian?” he asks, looking down at her file as he speaks. His voice is soft, attempting to be both stern and sympathetic. His voice is a bit like honey, thick and sweet and leaving Aaron wanting to hear more. He shakes it off, doubles back and answers.

“Doesn’t that file tell you, Mr. -?” Aaron leaves the question open and his eyebrows shoot up as he realises what Aaron is asking for. 

“Mr Sugden, Liv’s new substitute,” he says, before turning back to the matter at hand. “We called you in because Liv hasn’t been in class for a few days now; I’ve only met her once and she seemed distracted, like she had a hard time concentrating.”

Aaron takes a deep breath, unable to comprehend how what he is about to say isn’t in the papers Mr Sugden is staring at. He must really be new.

“In her defense, it’s almost a year ago since our father died, and I don’t think she’s coping well…” Mr Sugden’s face changes infinitesimally, a small softening of his eyes and a slight slacking of the jaw that tells Aaron all he needs to know. 

“I knew she was going through something but…” he says, “my condolences.” 

Aaron accepts them without acknowledging them. It’s the last thing he wants. 

“Liv’s struggling a bit and skiving is what she does when she’s -” 

“I understand, but maybe you aren’t doing all you can to help her through it - have you considered counselling?” 

Aaron feels his fist clench by his side but calms down before speaking. This guy is clearly unaware of  _ everything _ Liv has been through. Aaron has mentioned counselling to Chas, wondered how to suggest it to Liv but he didn’t really think it was that bad. Worries flood him, but he can’t do that here, he can’t  _ think _ with this teacher staring at him like he’s an incompetent idiot.

“I’ll speak to her, she’ll be there tomorrow, I promise.” 

Aaron gets up before Mr Sugden can tell him not to, before Aaron can get angry and throw a punch. He has no idea what he is talking about, no idea what makes Liv’s pain valid and real - Aaron guesses he doesn’t even know why she is staying with her brother. As he is about to walk out of the door, he hears a question that confirms his suspicions.

“How did you end up looking after her, Mr Dingle?” 

His voice is kind and inquisitive and if Aaron hadn’t been the mess that he is, he might have told him the whole truth, tell him exactly _why_ Liv is living with her older brother. It rubs him the wrong way, this intrusion into a life that has seen enough hurt, so he doesn’t explain, he just holds most of it in. Instead he places his hand on the cold doorknob and speaks without turning around. 

“Her parents are either dead, or useless,” Aaron says, before walking out and going straight home. 

He finds Liv in her room, listening to music and drawing. It’s what she does when she needs a break, time off from the rest of the world, but Aaron still sits down next to her and puts an arm around her. They sit for a while, not speaking as she works on a drawing and Aaron worries. After a while, she tugs off her headphones and looks up at Aaron with tear-filled eyes.

“You can’t keep skiving Liv, I’m getting shit from the school.”

“I know,” she whispers, setting the drawing aside and leaning her head on Aaron’s shoulder. “I just couldn’t go in there, I needed a break.” 

Aaron nods, bites his lip and wishes he had more time to figure out how to do this right. 

“I’m driving you tomorrow, yeah?”

She nods, cheek against Aaron’s shoulder. She doesn’t shed a tear - she is better at containing her pain and maybe that’s the problem.

“I’ll try,” she says, a promise that makes Aaron let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Aaron drives her to school the next day, drops her off and sees her go in. He spots Mr Sugden arriving as well, satchel over his shoulder, cup of coffee in hand. Aaron sighs. Even his coat has elbow-patches.

 

Liv gets better, or at least Aaron thinks she does. Chas lends a hand, coming over and cooking for them, talking to her about things that Aaron can’t, and Aaron hopes it is enough. Then he gets a letter saying she is failing a class, and he just about loses it. 

 

It takes its toll on her, having shitty parents. Aaron knows it hurts, knows the pain that comes with feeling neglected but Liv has never really been one for opening up and talking about her emotions. Aaron looks in the mirror as he dries his face as wonders how she can be so similar to him, and how the hell he is going to make it work for her when he barely made it through his teens. 

He cooks her breakfast and she sits quietly at the table, knowing that any word she says will start an argument she isn’t ready to have. They dance around one another instead, her walking on eggshells and him wading through his worries. 

“We’re going to have to talk about this,” he finally says, setting down his mug and sitting down opposite her. She is nibbling at her bacon sarnie, eyes fixed on the table, emotions held in check. 

“Mr Sugden wants another meeting with me to discuss your options.” 

Liv remains quiet, sullen. She takes a deep breath and Aaron doesn’t know whether it is to calm herself down or to prepare herself for what is to come. Either way, Aaron tries to make her understand.

“I know this is hard for you, I know you’re hurting -”

“I shouldn’t be,” she mutters and it makes Aaron freeze in his tracks.

“You’re allowed to mourn… you’re not dealing with it Liv, you need to talk to someone about it. I’m not sure I can help anymore,” Aaron says and Liv shrugs. 

“Want me to go to a counsellor or something?” 

Aaron feels her skepticism from across the table, emanating from her as she rips her sandwich apart with her fingers. Her eyes are distant, her thoughts weighing so heavily on her Aaron wishes he could carry some of the burden. 

“It helped me,” Aaron says quietly and it makes her stop, makes her look up, finally. “I know I haven’t talked about it much, but I’m not sure I can help you with this.” 

Liv shrugs, pops a small piece of bread into her mouth and gets up. 

“I’ll think about it, yeah?”

Aaron agrees but stops her before she leaves.

“What do I tell Mr Sugden?” 

She’s tying her tie without a mirror, hands focussed on the dextrous task as she looks at him and answers.

“I’ll do what I need to to make up my grade,” she says before she stalks off and leaves Aaron to clean up. Who said having a teenager wasn’t fun.

 

Aaron talks to his counsellor about his grief. Tells her about Livs. He knows it is because her pain is different from his own, but the wound still feels too fresh, he’s not ready to wade through it and try and make sense of hers. Instead, he writes down the numbers of a few counsellors she can recommend, and stuffs them in his wallet for later use. Maybe Liv will realise that getting help is a step forward, not a step back.

 

Aaron’s back in front of Mr Sugden’s classroom and it’s his turn to be nervous. His hands are sweating and his knee is jumping up and down in an attempt to channel his nerves; it only serves to fill the hallway with the echoes of his stress, making it reverberate and build in his head. He stops just as Mr Sugden opens his door and finds him waiting, stops as their eyes meet and Aaron swallows hard. He isn’t going to enjoy this.  

He is still looking like he is auditioning for a part as a substitute;  his shirt is blue and his jumper is maroon, but the jacket is the same, with the same brown elbow-patches. If Aaron weren’t so damned nervous he would find him equal measures attractive and poncy. As it stands, he can barely think past his own nerves as he shakes Mr Sugden’s hand.

His grasp is firm and his hand is large. Aaron notices how he doesn’t flinch at Aaron’s clammy hand but welcomes him with a kindness in his eyes that Aaron didn’t see the last time. When they sit down he cuts to the chase, making Aaron forget his kind eyes and smiling face, forget the strength in his fingers and hand. Not that Aaron should be noticing.

“As it is my class Liv is currently failing, I’m tasked with talking to you and trying to figure out a way for us to handle this so it doesn’t harm Liv more than it should.”

Aaron nods, his hands resting on the desk and his stomach a nervous mess. 

“I don’t see why she shouldn’t be able to make up for her mark by doing some extra work for me. I’ve written up a plan,” he pauses as he shuffles a piece of paper across the table outlining the remaining months of the school year and what Liv will have to do, “and if she agrees, I don’t see why she wouldn’t be receiving a perfectly good grade at the end of the year. She’s a smart girl.”

“Yeah, she is,” Aaron says, staring at the piece of paper in his hands with a lump in his throat. This is the second chance he never got. He is not going to allow her to not take it. 

Mr Sugden keeps talking, outlining what it would entail and how Aaron can help and Aaron knows he won’t remember it all. He places the paper back down on the table, and looks up at his face, feeling a flutter of  _ something _ as he does. 

“Liv’s a good girl, she’s fiery and quick and I know she’s going through a rough time -” Aaron cuts him off, decides that he needs to know.

“Look, you’re going to be her teacher for the rest of the year, right?”

He nods, leaning back in his chair and looking at Aaron with curiosity.

“Then there’s a few things I should tell you… your predecessor was aware of it all, as are a few of Liv’s other teachers.” Aaron takes a deep breath and fold his hands in his lap. He hates telling people, he hates saying it, but this is for Liv, for her future. It will help her. “Our father killed himself after he was sent to prison for abusing me as a child.” Mr Sugden’s face remains practically the same, except for the corners of his mouth which drop as soon as Aaron stops talking. “Her mother decided she couldn’t cope afterwards, and Liv came to stay with me. On top of dealing with our Dad’s death, I’ve also had to deal with suddenly being the guardian of a teenager. I love the bones of her, but she can be a handful and my mother has been helping…” Aaron’s hands start fidgeting, his eyes fall to his lap. “The school understands and we try and work together to make sure she gets the best opportunities she can, so thank you. For doing this.”

He looks Aaron right in the eye and smiles, clearly pleased that he has done something right and Aaron hopes it will work. There’s no pity in them, nothing other than the same kindness he showed when Aaron came in and maybe just a tiny bit of admiration that sent thrills through Aaron’s body. 

“I’m glad she’s got an older brother who takes such good care of her,” he says, “it’ll probably mean all the difference in the long run.”

Aaron is about to get up when Mr Sugden speaks, unprompted.

“I really like Liv - if you talk to her about the plan I’ve put together, I think it can work.”

“Thank you, Mr Sugden,” Aaron says and he smirks at him, a glint in his eye that Aaron really shouldn’t be noticing. 

“Call me Robert,” he says and Aaron smiles back. 

“Aaron.” 

 

Liv agrees. It’s not like she has another choice. 

Aaron spends a lot of time hoping she will go to counselling as well. He takes out the numbers he jotted down, stares at the piece of paper as he holds it between his hands. He remembers how reluctant he was at first, and knows Liv is stubborn enough to fight it as well. It helps though, and it might help her as well. She hasn’t brought it up since their first conversation and she doesn’t seem inclined to so he folds it again and puts it back in his wallet. Safe for another time. 

Robert keeps him updated, calling to let him know how Liv is getting on. His voice is nervous the first time they speak but it quickly turns calm, collected, firm, and professional in a way that makes Aaron bite his lip absentmindedly. His strength is something Aaron can’t help admire and he is helpful and considerate, and Aaron has no idea why but if his gut instinct is right he might not be able to resist falling to his knees in front of him. 

Liv eyes him after one of their chats, lips turned up in a smug smile and Aaron can’t help but ask what that face is all about. Her hand is shuffling peanuts from a small bag into her mouth at an alarming rate but she stops to speak, and that’s how Aaron knows he has to be careful.

“I heard him the other day, talking about you,” she says and Aaron feigns indifference. It doesn’t work. “Said something about my fit brother and how he wished he could go there.” 

Aaron hopes his face doesn’t betray the pleasure that he feels at her words. 

“The idiot shouldn’t be saying things like that,” Aaron replies instead, hands on his hips, face serious. 

“Anything that makes him want to help me is fine, even if he does think my brother is fit.” 

Aaron scoffs and Liv throws a peanut at him. 

Liv seems to be putting in the work, and Mr Sugden seems to be seeing results. Aaron can’t help but be grateful that she has a teacher willing to give her a chance, and he can’t help but be grateful that her teacher is Robert Sugden.

 

Aaron goes out for a drink, alone. 

His mind grows heavy with trying to juggle his work and an unruly teenager, and in the end he just needs a break, a small respite from lingering problems. He tries to find it at the bottom of his first pint and when it isn’t there, he orders another.

Liv is staying with a friend so he allows himself more freedom than usual. He allows himself to shamelessly eye strangers, hoping maybe to find respite with one of them under him. Each sip of alcohol takes away the sting of rejection as none of them approach him. 

He is on his third or fourth pint by the time someone sits down next to him. He recognises the voice before he looks over, seeing Mr Sugden in a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He orders a pint and glances at Aaron, smiling slightly.

“Wasn’t sure it was you,” Robert says. He looks good, he looks  _ great _ and Aaron finds it a little bit annoying. He shouldn’t be thinking these things.

“What’re you doing here?” he asks, his tongue heavy in his mouth. Not too heavy though - he knows what he is doing and hopes Robert knows too. Robert eyes him, all blond hair and gorgeous eyes and his usual kindness tinted with something that makes Aaron’s toes curl. At Aaron’s question that mouth curls into a smile and knocks all the breath out of him. He has noticed that mouth before but now it’s different, not it’s right there and Robert licks his lips before taking a sip of his beer, making Aaron want to follow in its wake. 

“Out for a few with some mates,” he looks back as he speaks and Aaron finds a table occupied by three women and one bloke. All of them are ridiculously attractive. “Needed a beer and here you were.” 

“Here I am,” Aaron says, raising his glass and taking a long sip. He can’t remember the last time he drank by himself, although he technically isn’t by himself any more.

“How’s Liv?” Robert asks, and Aaron notices the freckles dusting his nose.  _ Fuck _ . 

“You really want to ask me about my baby sister?” Aaron retorts and Robert smirks at him, eyes glinting and teeth showing, and Aaron can’t remember the last time he kissed anyone. With a shake of his head he lets go of the thought. 

“Maybe not my smoothest move,” he says, lifting his pint to his lips. “You come here often then?” 

Aaron laughs and shakes his head. 

“Nah, I haven’t been here in ages. Last time was actually a blind date that ended up with me leaving with another bloke…” Aaron remarks and Robert’s eyebrows raise slightly at his words. 

“I almost feel bad for him,” Robert jokes and eyes Aaron shamelessly, “poor guy.” Heat flares in Aaron’s belly and he takes a sip of his bear to quench it.

“Just wasn’t my type… what about you?” Aaron asks, trying to appear vague and uninterested. It doesn’t work. 

“You asking what I think you’re asking?” Robert says and Aaron feels his mouth tug at the corners.

“No idea what you’re talking about mate,” he jokes, making Robert laugh. 

“Last guy I was out with ended up saying being bisexual was just being greedy so I threw my drink in his face,” Robert says and Aaron almost spits out his drink. “Didn’t see a reason to continue after that.” 

“No,” Aaron says in between laughs. “What an idiot.” 

Robert gives him another look, a look that makes Aaron want to wipe his smile off his face by sinking to his knees. This is dangerous territory but Aaron doesn’t know how to stop at this point. 

“Look, I wanted to come over and say that I really admire what you’re doing for your sister… most people wouldn’t do what you’re doing.”

Aaron swallows the lump in his throat, looks into Robert’s eyes and sees no pretence, just honesty. Even though with that face he could say anything and Aaron would still jump his bones. 

“Couldn’t leave her in a crappy situation that I created. I just hope I can do what’s best for her, you know?”

Mr Sugden is clearly an arrogant twat, but he has a heart and it is more than can be said for most people Aaron has met.

“You didn’t create it, by the sound of things…” Robert murmurs and it blossoms in Aaron’s chest. “Mind if I sit?” 

Aaron shrugs, “ might prevent me from pulling if you’re sat right here with me.” 

Robert’s eyebrows knit together, briefly considering what he is saying before he replies, considering his words carefully before talking. 

“Maybe that was my plan all along,” he says. 

“Really?” Aaron says more in jest than in disbelief but then he sees Robert nod, sees him lick his lips and smile and something just clicks. 

He takes Robert by the arm and leads him off to the corner, stands in front of him and counts the freckles on his nose while he tries to just think. Robert is looking at him, eyes searching his face until his eyes flicker to those lips and Robert has the nerve to smirk. 

This isn’t doing what’s best for Liv but at this point Aaron can’t stop himself. Robert brings a hand up to Aaron’s cheek and pulls him in, tastes him gently on his lips before diving in for more. His mouth is warm and inviting, and his tongue is languid, licking into Aaron’s mouth and making him weak at the knees. He presses his body against Robert’s, feels the heat through several layers of clothing and places a hand on Robert’s hip.

Robert breaks it first, pulls away and rests his head against the wall. 

“This shouldn’t be happening,” he says, voice darker now, thick and heavy. Aaron ignores him, moves in for more and Robert eagerly kisses back, his hand finding the nape of Aaron’s neck and  tugging at the hairs there. It’s not rushed, it’s hungry but patient, strong swipes of Aaron’s tongue and deep moans into Robert’s mouth. He kisses that smug smile off his face, kisses him until his cheeks are red and his erection is pressing against Aaron’s. They haven’t been subtle about it, but Aaron doesn’t care  - he can’t remember the last time he met someone he immediately felt this open with. He thinks maybe he can’t remember because it never happened.

He drags him into the bathroom, and when he sees Robert smile he pushes him into a stall and sinks to his knees. Robert’s smile disappears when Aaron takes him into his mouth; he is heavy against his tongue but his mind is clear, want is curling in his belly. When Robert comes it only leaves Aaron wanting more and when they kiss he can feel Robert lick the taste of him out of his mouth.

“Liv’s away tonight, come back to mine?” Aaron asks when they finally come up for air.

“Yes,” Robert practically begs and Aaron drags him out of the bar by his hand, reassured by the warmth spreading from his fingers. 

 

Robert doesn’t flinch when Aaron takes off his clothes and reveals his scars. As with everything else, Robert accepts it for what it is and continues with what he came to do; he continues to kiss him, biting at his skin and licking it better, soothing the slightly wet skin with a flicker of his tongue. When Robert is three-fingers deep and Aaron is moaning into his pillow, his past is all forgotten. The only thing he can feel is the relentless pressure against his prostate, his need for Robert to take him apart and put him together again. 

Robert does. 

Repeatedly.

 

Aaron wakes up to an arm slung over his stomach, and a text from Liv. Aaron smiles when he sees that she’ll be staying at Alex’s to do homework, meaning Aaron can have a little more time with Mr Sugden before he has to go. 

It hadn’t been his plan to take Robert home with him, but he is quite glad he did. It’s a weird mess of exciting and ease when they touch, at once new and feeling so natural. Aaron’s doesn’t understand it, but he doesn’t want it to stop either. He looks over and sees Robert sleeping on the spare pillow, mouth slightly ajar and small noises escaping him in his sleep. 

His freckles are more obvious in the morning light; a smattering of gold across his features that makes him look more ethereal than he did in the dim lighting of the bar. Aaron remembers the evening, the night, feels sore in all the right places, feels more at ease than he ever has with someone who has just seen him fall apart in an incoherent mess the night before. Something about Robert just makes him not care about being vulnerable. 

His eyes open slowly, adjusting to the sunlight streaming through the windows before he smiles and his eyes find Aaron’s.

“Morning,” he says, voice heavy with sleep.

“Morning,” Aaron replies. “Coffee?” 

Robert nods, shuffling under the duvet and closing his eyes again. 

“When do I have to leave?” he asks and Aaron smiles. 

“Not for a while yet… we should have time for breakfast.” 

Robert smiles at his words, pulls the duvet up and robbing Aaron of the sight of his bare chest. 

“Glad to hear it,” he says. 

With the smell of coffee Robert comes wading into the kitchen, wearing a pair of boxers and trying to pat down his hair. Aaron tries to shake the memory of his skin on his own, of his broad chest holding him as he thrust forward, of his strong arms wrapped around him, of his fingers buried deep inside Aaron. It doesn’t work.

Aaron’s in a t-shirt and briefs, a layer between the outside world and the scars that crisscross his stomach, making his pain something for others to judge. Robert didn’t, and a warmth curls through his chest.

“About last night,” Robert begins and Aaron freezes. He wants to wrap his arms around his stomach, wants to act as if they aren’t there, as if his pain isn’t etched into his skin. “I hope you’re not thinking how irresponsible of a teacher I am.”

Aaron relaxes, feels his heart start thumping in his chest. 

“As long as you’re not thinking about what an awful parent I am.” 

Robert sits and leans back in the chair, chest obvious as he crosses his arms. 

“I know I’m Liv’s teacher and we shouldn’t be doing this, but -” 

“I don’t want it to stop.” Aaron speaks the words before he has fully understood their meaning.

“Me neither. I like you, Aaron.” 

The heat from the stove is nothing in comparison to the heat that pulsing through him at Robert’s admission; it snakes its way through his veins, making his cheeks flush and his skin feel too tight. Aaron keeps cooking, mind focused on the task at hand and letting him relax, letting him feel less flammable. Robert’s eyes trailing his body doesn’t help, only makes Aaron feel like he’s melting.

As soon as the bacon sarnies are finished Robert walks up behind him, wraps his arms around him and pressing a kiss to his neck. “Come back to bed,” he mutters, lips moving against Aaron’s skin. 

“What, you don’t want food first?” Aaron jokes and Robert nibbles at his earlobe, short circuiting his brain. Robert presses his hips to Aaron’s arse and Aaron can tell precisely what he is hungry for.

“Food can wait,” he says, running a hand down Aaron’s back as he backs away.

Robert smiles and Aaron can’t help but follow, grinning from ear to ear. 

The food is cold by the time they get to it. 

 

He finds Liv on her bed, grinning at a piece of paper in her hand. It has a giant A+ in red on it and Aaron can’t help but give her a hug, treat her to her favourite food. It’s working and it is all thanks to Robert. Aaron smiles at himself as he picks up their curries, considers that he might not have to use the numbers in his back pocket. She can do this.

 

They shouldn’t be doing it. 

Aaron is letting himself feel something other than tragic for the first time in years, feel happy and excited for once. It’s an addicting feeling, knowing that you have a reason to smile and not having to force it. The past year has been tough and even though he was getting through, with Robert he feels like breathing comes easy. 

It’s a secret and they keep it as such for as long as they can. Chas notices his smiles but doesn’t ask. Liv is busy with schoolwork and therefore doesn’t notice the near-constant stream of texts, the smile that seems to be a permanent feature on Aaron’s face. 

He can’t remember ever really being so happy. He can’t remember ever feeling that flutter in his stomach when his phone goes off, that sense of belonging that comes with sharing bits of yourself kept hidden for so long. Aaron starts handing over pieces of himself that were long-buried, and Robert simply smiles, kisses him, wraps his arms around him and suddenly Aaron feels lighter. 

It grows more dangerous with each passing day but Aaron’s too far gone to make it stop now. 

 

“Do you enjoy being called Mr Sugden then?” Aaron teases one night. 

Liv is staying over at Chas’, and Aaron made his way over to Robert’s flat after work. They usually never talk about Robert’s job but this time he can’t help himself. 

Robert laughs, shoulders shaking and stomach contracting, a laugh that reverberates through the mattress as Robert lies next to Aaron. 

“Makes me sound so old.” Robert drags out the last word, grimacing. “Nah, it feels a bit weird. Same with Sir, makes me feel like my father -”

Robert pauses, something cracks in his demeanour, his eyes are sad and Aaron has never seen him like this. Aaron props himself up on his shoulders, worried, places a hand on Robert’s chest and feels him breathe slowly, measuredly. 

“Something you want to talk about?” Aaron asks.

Robert starts spilling secrets he has kept hidden, secrets and memories that make Aaron want to punch anyone who ever thought Robert could be  _ wrong _ . His chin trembles as he talks, his eyes looking at everything and nothing, searching the ceiling for something that isn’t there. Aaron listens, tries to convey the same ease with Robert’s secrets as Robert did with his but he quickly realises how difficult it is. In the end he settles for wrapping his arms around Robert, kissing him reverently, and falling in love with him in a way he never thought he could. 

 

Robert’s strength is different to Aaron’s. It is more subtle but just as tough, hardened by years of continuous punches from those who should love him the most. Aaron starts looking at him, at the way he remains kind to others, at the way he guides those who need it the most, at the way he smiles and even at the way he can be a right idiot sometimes, starts seeing the hurt underneath it all and it only makes it harder to know that what they are doing could end at any moment.

 

That moment comes sooner than it should. 

They become reckless in their need to be together, callous in their planning. Liv ends up coming home one day to find Aaron, rumpled and lips red from kissing someone on the sofa; when that someone sits up and she sees her teacher, she doesn’t say a word, doesn’t even react other than to go straight to her room.

It doesn’t take long for Aaron to panic, for Chas to call and get angry, for Robert to scarper. Aaron feels this thing, this almost relationship slip through his fingers and he can’t prevent it. 

Later, Aaron sits on his sofa, his mum at his side, his mind focussed on the look on Robert’s face as he left, the finality of his steps out of the door. Aaron doesn’t understand how something so meaningful could crumble so quickly. 

“It’s for the best love, you know it couldn’t -” Chas begins, a hand on his back. 

“Don’t,” he says. “I know it was stupid but it made me feel again.” 

“Feel what?” Chas asks. 

Aaron wraps his hands around each other, his heart exposed and aching. 

“Everything.” 

Robert texts him later, a simple message that sends pain shooting through Aaron’s chest, a hollow and all-consuming black hole. 

_ I can’t do this anymore.  _

Besides losing Robert, Aaron knows he has lost Liv’s trust and when he hears her crying through her door it is like a punch in the chest, a stampede of guilt and sadness that threatens to break his ribs and expose his beating heart to the world. He was supposed to do good by her, but he had to be selfish. She has only had parents disappoint her and Aaron thought he would be different.

He sits leaning against her door until he can hear it subside. Despite his begging, she doesn’t say a word to him. 

The next morning she is cold, distant, withdrawn. He tries to get her to talk but she won’t; she has that determined look on her face that Aaron knows all too well and no amount of coaxing will change it. Instead he slips a piece of paper across the table, a jumble of names and numbers that has Liv’s eyebrows knit together, posing a question she doesn’t want to vocalise. 

“If you can’t talk to me, please talk to someone.”

Liv swallows, eyes fearful now and Aaron walks over and places a hand on her shoulder, squeezing slightly.

 

He picks Liv up, she gets into the car without talking, without looking at him. He doesn’t try and talk to her, she has been too angry with him since she caught them, too hurt and threatened and Aaron is going to have to work to fix it. 

She bites at her nail as he drives down the road, she glances at him furtively but he keeps quiet. 

In the end it was his mistake for thinking he could have something,  _ anything, _ that made him feel happy. Aaron feels that pain, feels his anger at his own stupidity for letting Robert get close, for letting his smile and his heart worm its way into his. He should never have presumed to think he could have a real relationship, and that stings more than anything.

“He pulled me aside today,” she says quietly, “wanted to talk. He apologised for what had happened, asked how you were.”

Aaron nods, biting his lip to keep his emotions from spilling over. 

“I think he misses you,” she practically whispers. Aaron shakes it off, ignores her, doesn’t let hope dig it’s claws into him. It does anyway.

 

In the end they have to see each other; the end of the year approaches and Aaron has to keep himself up to date on Liv’s progress. 

Robert looks good, annoyingly so; he is wearing a new jacket with elbow-patches and Aaron can’t help but think he looks amazing in them. He greets Aaron with a strained smile this time, breaking off their eye-contact before Aaron can say anything and he indicates for Aaron to sit in the chair in front of his desk. 

He takes a deep breath before opening his mouth, eyes fixed on the desk. 

“Liv seems to be doing really well; she’s excelling in most of her subjects and the programme we put together really -” 

“Robert,” Aaron says, voice reminiscent of what it was the last time they were together. Robert freezes, setting his hands on the table. 

“I wanted to thank you for your help in getting Liv to where she needs to be - I really like her, and I think she is doing a lot better than we could hope for -” 

“Stop it,” Aaron interrupts again, unable to contain himself anymore. “Please stop, Robert.” 

He watches as Robert’s Adam’s apple moves under his skin as he swallows, eyes forcing his brain to remember how that skin felt on his lips. Robert shakes his head briefly, clenching his fists on the table. 

“I’m trying to be professional here, Aaron… I’m Liv’s teacher and I need to talk about -” 

Aaron interrupts again, like it’s becoming a bad habit. 

“I’ve seen her grades, I know she’s doing well. I’ve seen her work her arse off to get a grade she could be proud of.” 

Robert stares at him, eyes tinged with a smile but no more than that. His fists are still clenched on the table. 

“I miss you, Robert…” Aaron lets himself admit it, lets himself speak the words that have marked each day for weeks now. “I know we shouldn’t do this but the year’s almost up and as a substitute teacher aren’t you finding a new job? You won’t be Liv’s teacher for long.” 

Robert takes a deep breath, eyes closed and almost pained. 

“I’ve been offered a permanent job.” Aaron feels the effect of the words instantly, his hope extinguishing as quickly as their relationship had. “Ms Fitz has been offered a new job after maternity leave and the school has offered me her position. I haven’t decided yet, but if I take it -” 

“Then this can’t happen,” Aaron finishes the sentence for him and Robert nods. It’s an end to their relationship and Aaron knows he needs some rebuilding to do to fix the cracks in his armour, but Liv’s future is more important than his pain.

“Aaron, I…” Robert begins, but at a look from Aaron he stops talking. 

“I understand, Robert.” 

Aaron collects the pieces of himself within reach and takes a deep breath. 

“So how did she do on the World War 1 history test?” 

 

Liv continues to do well, continues to improve and work hard. Aaron is proud of her and if it weren’t for their current stalemate, he would say as much himself. She ignores him most days, eats her dinner in her room while Aaron eats his alone in the kitchen. Losing Robert was painful enough but losing Liv as well has him almost out of his mind. 

One evening she potters into the kitchen in her pyjamas, sets the kettle on and Aaron prepares to be ignored. Instead, she turns around lift an eyebrow at him. 

“Want one?” she asks and Aaron relaxes a bit in his chair. 

“Ta,” he says, short and sweet. 

She makes him a cup, knowing just how he likes it and sets it in front of him on the table. She doesn’t sit down but she doesn’t leave either, leaning against the kitchen table while she takes a preliminary sip.

“I called one of them,” she says.

Aaron’s eyes shoot up, meet her fearless expression and he knows that feeling. That feeling of meeting your issues head-on and not letting them control you anymore. That same pride grows in his chest, pride at her ability to fight and pride at knowing he could help, even just a little. 

“Have my first session this week.”

Aaron smiles at her, takes a sip and feels the warmth of it spread throughout his body. 

“I’ll drive you,” he says and Liv smiles, accompanied by a quick nod. “I’m proud of you, Liv.” 

At those words she freezes, tightens her grip on the mug before she sets it down, walks over to Aaron. Her arms wrap around his shoulders as she gives him a hug, head resting on him. He puts an arm on hers, squeezes. 

“Thank you,” she mumbles before grabbing her tea and walking back into her room. She pauses just outside her door and looks back. “Love you, Aaron.” 

He smiles, feels his worry melt away with her words. 

“Love you too, Liv.” 

 

The pain becomes a dull ache, the need grows less and less as time goes by. He thinks it’s just because the memory of Robert is slowly fading and he can’t remember how good it is, how good it can be, and maybe that’s just what he needs. 

It’s Liv’s last day of school and he tries to make it home in time to congratulate her when she gets home. He rushes a bit at work but the excitement more than makes up for the weird looks he gets from his boss; Liv has kicked ass and Aaron wants to acknowledge that more than anything. 

He has been in the door five minutes when Liv comes home, slinging her bag onto the floor and smiling at Aaron as she walks in. 

“Top of the class!” she says, holding out her slip of paper and Aaron pulls her into a hug. 

When he sets her down she grins at him, a grin that tells Aaron there’s more to come. “Right, what do you want to do to celebrate?” he asks and she shrugs. 

“Alex invited me to sleepover, thought maybe I should go?” she asks and Aaron cocks an eyebrow. 

“Should go?” 

At his words Mr Sugden walks through their front door, all blond hair and blue-green eyes and elbow-patches, smiling tentatively as his eyes met Aaron’s. 

“You two might want some privacy,” Liv says, grabbing her bag and hurrying off to her room. 

As soon as she is gone Aaron stares at Robert, talking it all in. He is still beautiful, he still looks like someone who could carry the weight of Aaron’s world on his shoulder. Aaron clenches his fist, uncertainty coursing through him. Robert has his hands in his pockets, eyes searching Aaron’s face for something Aaron can put a finger on.

“I hope this is ok?” Robert asks. Aaron doesn’t know how to answer. 

“Thank you,” he gets out, “for helping Liv.” 

Robert’s smile falters but he replies nonetheless, “no problem.”

They stand there quietly, the door still open behind Robert and both of them hesitating. Aaron’s wants so much that it is debilitating.

“I didn’t take the job,” Robert says finally, eyes open and honest. “I’ve found something else, it’s a bit further away but it’s a great school.”

Aaron’s chest expands as realisation dawns. 

“So you…” Aaron begins but Robert takes a step closer. 

“I won’t be Liv’s teacher.” 

Aaron is rooted to the floor, unable to move as Robert stands in front of him. 

“I miss you, Aaron. I want this, us, to work… I - I think I love you Aaron and I don’t want to not have you in my life.”

Aaron searches his eyes for a fragment of a lie, anything that will indicate that this isn’t real, that what Robert is saying isn’t real. Robert mistakes it as apprehension on his part, Aaron can see the doubt flicker in his eyes as he takes a step back. 

“I shouldn’t have come -” he begins but it is Aaron’s turn to move. He walks up to Robert, closes the door behind him and takes his hand in his, slots their fingers together and pulls him closer so they are standing inches from each other. 

“I love you, Robert.” 

He smiles with his whole face, mouth grinning and eyes shining and Aaron leans in slowly, gives him time to relax his lips before they meet. Their noses graze against each other as they kiss, slow and sweet and reigniting everything Aaron has kept hidden for weeks and weeks. Robert’s lips are soft and pliant and he smells just like Aaron remembers. They break apart briefly to look at each other before diving in again, mouths open as their tongues meet and Aaron feels his body press Robert against the door, needy and demanding.

It’s all he can do to not drag him into the bedroom but Liv is next door and they should wait. They can wait. They have all the time in the world now.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated :)
> 
> Find me on tumblr: escapingreality51


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